Dear Parents,
These are borrowed days. As graduation day approaches for your high school student, your child is living through a critical season of spiritual formation. Before you wonder where the time went, remember how the statistics suggest these years have a disproportionate impact of what your child carries forward as personal beliefs. Unfortunately, you cannot freeze this moment or slow it down, but you can be intentional about what happens in the remaining days. Here are five things worth doing now, before your child walks across a stage with their diploma. Here are five things you can do to help your student before they graduate high school.
1. Welcome doubts.
A researcher asked graduating seniors what would matter most in their faith during college. Their answer, “Will my parents listen to my questions without getting defensive?” Create a culture where hard questions about God, the Bible, and faith are treated as signs of serious thinking, not rebellion. Your teenager is asking because they’re trying to own a faith that’s theirs, not borrowed from you. That’s healthy.
2. Tell them your story.
Share your testimony. Tell them about the doubts you’ve had. Talk about the moment God felt distant, and what happened next. Share a failure and how grace worked in it. Researcher Christian Smith found emerging adults don’t need parents who have it all figured out—they need parents who’ve been tested and found God faithful. Your honesty will steady them more than certainty ever could.
3. Find them a church home before they leave.
This is not optional. Smith’s research on young adults is clear: the first weeks of college are determinative. A student who walks onto a campus and has no plan, no church name, no contact person often doesn’t recover spiritually. Before graduation, help them find a congregation—research it together, visit the campus ministry, meet a pastor. Make it their choice, not yours. But make sure they go in with a place to grow spiritually. Campus groups are very helpful, but students need a church home.
4. Lay hands and speak a blessing.
In Scripture, blessing is concrete. It’s not a vague well-wish—it’s a father or mother putting their hands on their child and speaking into their future. Tell them what you see in them. “I see someone God has made generous, and He’s going to use that.” Name the spiritual gifts you’ve watched grow. Tell them God’s calling isn’t something they’ll find in the future—it’s already begun. This matters more than you know.
5. Affirm their spiritual gifts.
Don’t wait for graduation day. Start now. Notice when they show mercy, when they lead, when they encourage a friend. Name it out loud. “When you stood up for that kid, I saw the courage of Christ in you.” “When you volunteered at VBS, I saw young children look up to you.” Young adults entering a world of endless choices will question everything, including who they are. A parent’s voice—steady, specific, rooted in what you’ve actually seen—is an anchor. Use it while you can.
You cannot make kids believe. But these weeks are still yours. Use them to say, I see you. I trust you. I’m still here. And God is too.
Grace and peace,
Have a young child? Read THIS.